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People Meeting Dogs - how we should behave

When we like dogs, it's natural to want to greet them if we get the chance.  

We might want to go over to them, reach out to them and enjoy making a fuss of them. But is this what most dogs like, from someone they don't know? The short answer is no. Let's look at why.

Dogs and people have different communication styles

Going up to a dog, with the best of intentions of making friends with them, is at odds with dogs' etiquette among themselves. A direct, straight-on approach from one dog to another is not the polite thing to do. It can be perceived as threatening, or at the very least pushy. We will leave dog greeting behaviour though, as it is another big topic, and return to our own behaviour when meeting dogs.

Let dogs keep their personal space

Of course there are some dogs who are so sociable that they welcome friendly attention from everyone, but in general it is best not to reach out into a dog's personal space. Many dogs, especially shy, nervous dogs will really struggle with that. A scared dog that has their safe space encroached upon may either try to get away, freeze in position or lash out with a snap to protect themselves, as they might interpret your attention as a threat to their safety.

A greeting in action

These photos show my own little dog's opinion of being reached out to in a greeting.

In the first photo you can see that he is holding his neck back slightly in avoidance, looking away and holding his ears back tensely. I can tell that he isn't scared as such because his tail isn't far from its normal position, it's not too lowered or tucked, nor is he backing away, but his whole demeanour is that of avoidance.

In photo 2 he's getting ready to leave:


In photo 3 he votes with his feet and leaves!

So what can we do to show the dogs we meet that we like them?

Say you meet someone you know, or someone you don't know but happen to get chatting to, and their dog is with them. If the dog isn't one of those very sociable dogs who comes over to you relaxed and happy, think about whether you really need to interact with the person's dog.

Stand nice and relaxed anyway, positioning your body sideways-on to the dog and keep your attention off the dog. These actions of yours will help take the pressure off the dog. You might be rewarded by the dog approaching you. Even then, resist reaching out to the dog. This is because the dog might just be curious about you, but might not want your attention.

"Isn't this all very anti-social? People will think I don't like dogs if I seem to be ignoring them!"

In truth, people probably won't notice, or if they have a nervous dog they will be relieved that you know not to try to greet their dog. Those who will notice are the dogs. Yes, dogs are tolerant and get used to the ways of humans. Many will put up with it all, but how much better for them to be understood. Leaving them be, unless they initiate the greeting, can be an understanding between you and the dogs you meet.


Ursula Linton


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